Hummm… what to write? how to start? That’s how non working mother thinks. I want to write about myself and I am unable jot few lines about myself even after thinking about it since 3 days. Who I am? what I am? Yeah, IDENTITY…SELF-IDENTITY, that has made me to write this. I want to discover myself like many of other mothers do.

What is this non working mother? Mother who does not work? Does not WORK? That’s simply impossible for them because kids always keep them on toes. No, Non working mother is mother who does not earn. Does not EARN? All mothers earn by saving money which they may have to give their maids and daycare centers to do all household duties and take care of their babies. And as it’s said a penny saved is a penny earned so all savings are actually earnings, right? So we all mothers EARN.

Then what is this non working Mother? Mothers are mothers.
What is this concept of “Working” and “Non Working”? Few generations before, these terms were not in existence. Mothers used to stay at home to look after elders and children. They were always available to them at any time. Gradually, society’s structure start changing. Reason could be high standards of living , husbands with low moral values or infidelity and so wives started feeling insecure. And so, wives with high ambition and low patience started going out for financial independence and to make their marriage work in a better way. All these reasons and more gave out a new term “working mother” and so, who continued with the old structure (with context to Indian culture) that is, wife handling home and husband earning for the family are called as “non working mother”. I think let me call it “stay at home mothers”. “Non” really gives me negative feeling.

Well, that’s how I am, sometimes very happy ‘Stay at home mom’ who enjoying every bit of growth her baby undergoes – his first grip on my fingers, his first crawling, first word he uttered, first time he walked and so on. Oh my God how happy I am? I am with him every time he needed me, when he is not well, when he is sad about not getting his favorite toy, when he is happy and want to hug and kiss me.

But sometimes I am really sad, when my baby wants some expensive comforts though he never asked for, but still I feel if I can give or when my husband show his desire to have a big house I really do feel that I want financial independence.

Recently, I happen to be in touch with many of my old pals, thanks to facebook. When they ask my present status, I really get complex, looking at their jobs, their career growth, their children (how independent they are, thanks to Day care), their lifestyle and personality. I reply them that I am “just” a housewife that is how a negative feelings comes out ,that of, “non” working mother. Well, this is not just with me, many stay at home moms experience the same feeling like I do. This may be because our generation is still under transition  phase from old structure to new structure of positive, happy, financially independent, more confident and secured “Working mothers”, whose children are more strong and independent as their moms are.

Before marriage, I was very much clear that I wouldn’t be working after having baby and so my partner was well informed about my stand. When I got complications in pregnancy, without giving any second thought, I just left the job. Yeah, the transition again from working to non working, created vacuum but anyhow I  managed. Same feeling I am getting again, the “vacuum”, as my son has started going to school.

Now I really think that every woman should think about this in advance and plan it out accordingly. If one doesn’t want to send her baby in daycare or with full time maid, they should pick family friendly profession like teaching, or creative fields like fashion designing, jwellery designing, interior designing or something else of their own choice which they can do it by staying at home and at the same time they can give equal  importance to their baby.

Khushi as nonworking mother “evolved” to “work from home mother” , to get independent, secured and content future.
Happiness to …more happiness.

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