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It was 2.10 in noon, I decided to start my studies at 2.30. 20 minutes!! let me watch TV. 
I glued more 5 minutes with TV. Ok, let me start studies at 2.45. I wandered here and there, searching some snacks for me. At 2.45, I felt bit lazy.. let me take a short nap of 15 minutes, will start at 3.00.. this was one, NO, I mean many.. lolz, of afternoon of my preparation leave before exams, during my school days.
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Our children are best teachers for us. At least, I am learning a lot from my 5 years old. How innocent they are, and so forgive and forget their fights in few seconds. How easily they accept the things they face in their life.
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Worries are like to pry into death bed..
And see, how brave I am to lay myself on it off and on it.. worrying most of the time… lolz!!
Yeah! My mind again is in split. Should I start working again or not?
This time, it is not a woman in me, who wanted her identity. This time, its mere a factor, so called, crisis, which drives women to work in 90% of families. Yeah, I was aware of this factor, before leaving my work. But again.. when fact become reality of your life.. you react different, very different from, when you had just thought of it as a fact. Or say, predicted facts has raised to unpredicted high proportions.. and I lost my balance again. So, I am worried.
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Here is one more confusion.. one more dilemma.. one more option to think about, whether my 5 years old really need it. After drawing classes, dance class, phonics class, mental maths class…the list is endless. I heard of personality grooming classes for kids. Do kids have personality required to be groomed?? I wonder!! 
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Life as a woman is as such not easy… no offense..that is my personal view. I always find my mind and heart doing tug off war.. for what is right and wrong as a woman.. let me repeat as a woman.. not only as human. And reason is, lot of expectations, not only of others but mine too.. . Now, I am ok with it.. but attitude of people really sucks!!
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Here Khushi talks about remember to remember, that is to be aware all time and now talking “forget to remember or say memories” ?? What’s happening?? Seems, she is out of her mind. 
Last week, we had been to Aksa beach (check post Shells!! for last year experience) after almost a year. Last year, it was on two wheeler and this time on four wheeler, as my friend and her hubby too joined us for our night stay in beach cottage.
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After reading ” The Secret”, I do believe the law of attraction. Yeah, some how my head and heart hooked with this idea. But when I try to relate it with my life.. I again start getting confused.. where I am or was wrong?? How I attracted so much negative in my life, though never had negative attitude or negative mind set about people or life around?
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One of my fellow blogger Janaki, whom I really adore as a person, wrote a formula for her creative mode in her latest post, pain+insomnia = her inspiration.
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I generally fell in trap or say argument with self, and reach nowhere, rather that lead me to more deep hole with absolutely no light around, a total dark. I try best to avoid those Top ten arguments with self.
Sunday evening before Diwali, I just anyhow finished my cleaning work at home including refrigerator and washing machine. I was planning to make some sweets and snacks on Monday. But as we say.. man proposes but god disposes… he had some another plans that entered into my house about 2.30 midnight with sound of utensils… A big monster mouse on window’s grill in kitchen!!! Oh god! It looked.. just.. just… can’t express.. something scary plus irritating.. before we can absorb the shock.. it just hidden itself..
